Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
