Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
