He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
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There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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