id be glad to
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
