So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
