his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he fucked my hip out of place.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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