I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Everyone says I win the strip club
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
