oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
