i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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