don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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