Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How does one acquire holy water?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
