i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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