I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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