so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
