Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
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