Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
