I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
