tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
