If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
