i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize