Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
