"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
