69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
