He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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