One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
