Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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