They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
