More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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