bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
PANTIES FOUND
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
