yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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