i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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