if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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