with your own penis?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Less talking, more tequila
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
