Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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