you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
