Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
