I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Randomize
