he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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