And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
