So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
