I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
