Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
