that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
