If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
