I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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