his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
