Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize