Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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