Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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