So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
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To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
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I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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