Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
