he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
