A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
