ya dads aren't the best wingmen
another moral hangover. fuck.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
