can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
handjob tips. give me some.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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