Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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