Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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