I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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