Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
