the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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