At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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