in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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