nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
