maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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