Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
