I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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