brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
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Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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