Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
