i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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