maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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