Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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