Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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