The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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