So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
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I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
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